"If you don’t get excited when you’re about to kiss someone then you probably shouldn’t be kissing them. It should get you riled up inside and should not be mediocre."
"I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That’s why I’m trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning."
"I either eat too much or starve myself. Sleep for 14 hours or have insomniac nights. Fall in love very hard or hate passionately. I don’t know what grey is. I never did."
"I was sixteen, laying on my bedroom floor, choking on your goodbye and cigarette smoke with the 98 degree weather burning tears into my cheeks, screaming for my mother because I figured this was it, I was going to die without you because if I couldn’t wake up and see you sleepily mumbling my name into my hair I didn’t want to wake up at all.
I was seventeen, shaky breath, shaky knees, tired lungs and wet hair but I wasn’t drowning like last summer"
"and I know I speak like my heart was broken last night
even though it happened last January,
when I thought I was numb from the cold
but I was numb from you
and sometimes everything you left behind cuts into
my tongue and I find myself choking up your name
even though it’s been 3 months since you’ve called
and I’m not sure how your voice still plays in my head
when I can’t even remember how it sounds
and there are scars and bruises all over me that I
could’ve sworn had faded but everyone looks at me
like I’m about to collapse
and sometimes I kiss boys who grab me like they
want to break me and I let them because there’s
nothing left to break
and sometimes they taste like you
and I used to smile like I wasn’t empty
but you’re stuck in my head
and in my heart
and underneath my fingernails
and I’m so sorry but you can’t stay here"